Part 2: Understanding Your Inner Parts: Wounds, Protectors, and Self

Written by Avery Bowser, Psychotherapist in Training at Be You Psychotherapy

Understanding the Different Types of Parts

This is the second post in our series on the concept of “parts work” in therapy. In the first post, we covered the basic concept of what parts are and how they are formed. Today, we’ll go a little deeper into the different kinds of parts that we all have, and how they show up in our lives. While the exact terminology can vary between different models of therapy, the three general categories of “parts” that (therapists work with) include Wounded Parts, Protector Parts, and the Self.

Wounded Parts 

Wounded parts, also known as “exiles” in Internal Family Systems (IFS) language, are the parts of us that carry old hurts and difficult experiences. These often form in childhood, when something painful happens and we don’t yet have the emotional capacity to fully process or heal from it. Instead, the part holds on to the pain for us.

Wounded parts carry what psychologists call implicit memories. Instead of remembering the exact details of the painful event, they store the emotional experience - the shame, fear, sadness, or anger we felt in that moment. Later in life, when a wounded part is triggered, it can feel like we’re reliving the old wound, even if the current situation seems minor.

For example, if a friend cancels plans at the last minute, it might stir a wounded part that believes “people always leave me.” The reaction can feel far bigger than the situation itself, leaving us wondering: Why am I so upset? Often it’s because the part is reminding us of earlier hurt that was never healed.

These parts are tender and vulnerable, and being with them can feel overwhelming. That’s one reason other parts - the protectors - often step in to shield us from feeling them so directly.

Protector Parts

Protector parts take on the job of keeping us from being overwhelmed by the feelings carried by wounded parts. Their role is to help us function, avoid being consumed by big emotions, and keep old hurts at a distance. While they sometimes get a bad rap, their intentions are usually positive: they’re trying to help us survive and succeed. In IFS, there are two main types of protectors: “managers” and “firefighters.” 

Managers work to stay in control of situations and relationships so we don’t have to risk feeling hurt. These can look like the perfectionist who insists “I need to get everything right so no one can reject me,” the overworking part who says “If I stay busy, I won’t have to feel discomfort,” or the agreeable part who believes “If I keep everyone happy, they won’t leave me.”

Firefighters tend to jump in when a wounded part gets stirred up, rushing to put out the emotional fire. These parts might distract or numb us through things like scrolling for hours, binge-eating, drinking, or shutting down completely. Their goal is the same as the managers: to keep us from feeling the raw pain of the exiles, but their strategies tend to be more urgent and extreme.

Protectors are often our “noisiest” parts, because they’re so active in daily life. And while their methods aren’t always helpful long-term, they usually make sense once we understand what they’re trying to prevent us from feeling.

Self

Alongside all of these parts, there’s another important presence within us: the Self.

IFS describes the Self as our wise, grounded core - the adult part of us that can lead with clarity, compassion, and connection. Even if it doesn’t always feel accessible, our Self is always there. The more we can connect with it, the more we can bring balance and healing to our system.

One of the goals of parts work in therapy (which we’ll dive into more in the next post) is helping the Self come forward to guide the system, rather than letting the protectors or wounded parts run the show. When the Self leads, it can offer comfort to the wounded parts and relief to the protectors, creating a sense of inner harmony.

Pulling It Together

We all have wounded parts, protector parts, and a core Self. Sometimes the wounded parts are buried deep; sometimes the protectors are running the show; sometimes we’re deeply connected to our Self. Most often, it’s a mix. The key is recognizing that all of these parts make sense given our experiences, and that none of them have to define us forever.

In the final post in this series, we’ll bring these ideas together and show what it looks like to actually work with parts in therapy.

If you’re curious about how parts work might help you better understand yourself, consider scheduling a consult with Avery Bowser. At Be You Psychotherapy, she helps clients explore their parts in a safe, supportive space, helping them act with more intention and compassion in their daily lives.


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